A New Chapter.

 

 

The time has finally come my friends. I have decided to start my blog. I was so overwhelmed with the feedback I got when I asked if anyone would even want read my thoughts on different topics. So, thank you for that.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

Today one week ago I turned 22 years. I still can’t believe I even made it this far. This sounds so weird, but I used to think I would never make it to 18 years because I was very suicidal when I was younger. Well, aren’t we glad I started this post on a very positive note. I thought I would reflect on the last years and share 22 things or rather views on life that I have learned in my life. I find with stuff like this you can always show people that everyone grows as a person no matter who they are. For me, it’s the realisation that even If I used to be in such a dark place, I rose above it and became the strong independent woman I am today. Yes, there it is. I said it out loud that I am not afraid to acknowledge my strength.

Before I continue, I just want to say that I hope If only one person can relate to this post, or any other further post, I am happy. I wish that people who are struggling can take something from this and create their own “thing I have learned”. I have learned so much in my life and I would love to inspire other people to not care about their appearance, to put their well being first and to just to realize that life is so much more than having to struggle with all these thoughts.

Warning: I talk about eating disorder and depression. If you are easily triggered don’t continue reading. Sending my love. x


22 things I learned while growing into the woman I am today:

1.  I learned to put myself always first.

This is something that is very close to my heart. I consider myself a very nice person, who will go out of their ways to help others, BUT sometimes I have to put myself first. Even if that means upsetting somebody else in my environment. My happiness and well being will always be my number one priority.

     2. A number on the scale is just a number. It does not define me.

When I was younger, I would weigh myself multiple times a day. I was so obsessed with that particular number, It drove me crazy. Until the day I came to the realisation that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on this because nobody (but me) actually gives a shit. I mean, let’s be honest here when was the last time somebody asked you how much you weighted? It’s so ridiculous how society makes us lose our minds over a number. I mean If you are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.

     3. You can‘t please everyone with what you do and I am fine with that.

I used to be so hung up about what people will think If I do this and that, but at the end of the day, am I living for myself or for others? We spend so much of our precious time thinking about what others will say, but we should rather use that time and make anything we dream of come true.

    4. Food is not my ENEMY.

This is also something that is very important to me. I used to think food was my biggest enemy, when in reality food is literally one of the best things about life. This leads me to number 5.

    5. My body is not my ENEMY. 

One of the things I always told myself when I was struggling with my eating patterns. Our body is so freaking incredible. I see my body as my best friend. I wouldn’t want my best friend to starve and suffer, now would I? My body needs food, it need its energy. All the amazing things my body does for me in return I make sure I nourish it well. This is a mindset I came across myself and I am very proud of it. I tell it to anyone who asks me how I overcame my eating disorder. It’s so simple yet so powerful.

    6. Mental illness is shit, but it shaped me as a person and helped me become the person I am today.

  7. I can eat in public without having anxiety and I have managed to develop a good relationship with food.

This is one of my biggest achievement in life. When I think back at how bad my relationship with food was, it scares me. But I have managed to make it to the other side. It wasn’t easy in fact, it was hard, but that only tells me that anyone can make it. Even me.

  8. Veganism is the best thing that happened to me.

  9. If somebody is being shitty to me, I am able to cut them out of my life.

I used to always avoid drama in my life. I would accept that some people are shitty to me because I was too nice to say anything. But I would only do those people a favour. Until I realized the same people only cared about themselves. So I did the same and cut them out of my life.

10. I overcame my eating disorder.

I have too much to say about this, so I am just going to say one thing: My number one proudest moment and achievement in my life.

11. I learned to show my true self, that is being a very open and funny human being.

12. I will never have the body that I wish I had because my body is not structured that way and I am okay with that. 

13. I don’t take myself too seriously. I can always laugh about myself.

14. Just because someone doesn’t understand why are you feeling the way you are or is judging you for it, doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t justified. 

This is literally one of the most important life lessons I have learned. I am a very sensitive person and just someone who likes to show emotion. A lot of people don’t get that and I am fine that. I just wished more people would understand that just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I have the right to feel the way I want to feel. Nobody can take that away from me.

15. I cry often and I am not ashamed of it. 

16. As a white woman living in the first world, I am very privileged.

Not a bad thing. Just an acknowledgment that I can use to my benefit by raising my voice.

17. Politics are very important. 

18. I can openly talk about my mental illness and I am not ashamed of it. 

A lot of people used to tell me that talking about my depression is not welcomed. I would come off as crazy and emotionally not stable. But when I realized how many people actually suffered from it, I thought myself recently why not talk about it? I am not trying to portray myself as a victim, but I know talking about it openly will at least make people aware. It is very common and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

19. Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza. 😛 

20. Shaming people is not okay.

I am a very judgmental person and I am really trying to change that at the moment. In the last few years I have learned that not only body shaming or slut shaming is wrong but in general shaming people. You don’t like what someone is wearing? Cool than keep it for yourself. I am sure the person feels comfortable the way they are, so why ruin their day? Like I said I sometimes catch myself judging others, but I hope more people will realize how wrong it actually is.

21. Having bad days is normal. 

I used to always think that when I am having a bad that also means my whole life is shitty. Not true. Sometimes everything doesn’t work out the way it should, but that’s okay. We are only human. You are having a bad day? Rather than seeing is as something negative it, acknowledge the bad energy. Sometimes it’s okay not being okay all the time.

22. I will never in my life again apologize for who I am.

This turned out longer than I wanted it to, but I still hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. I truly hope you like my very first post and I am looking forward to writing more. Not only is writing very therapeutic for me, but it’s always nice to share your thoughts with other people. Thank you so much for reading.

 

Yours truly,

Emina x 

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