How I Started Putting Myself First

How did you managed to get so confident and happy – whats the secret?

Before I start telling you the ultimate secret to being happy, I want you to remember that if you are going through something right now, it’s not forever. Whenever I find myself facing though times rather than fighting it, I have to remind myself that it is necessary  for me to accept it. deal with every negative and possible positive thing that is coming my way. I hope that whatever you are struggling with, it will soon get better for you. 

so what really is the secret? we often find ourselves giving our all to make others happy. how many of us really just want to make everyone around them happy? you don’t want nobody being mad at you, right? i am all for being supportive of others and being nice, but where do we draw the line?


It really took me 23 years of my life to realize that is okay to say no. For so many years my number one priority was it to keep the peace with everyone around me. I was the nice one, the one that would never get mad at anyone. so whenever someone would do me wrong, I wouldn’t really say anything or do something about it. truly believe that i had so much anger inside me and that lead to being extremely unhappy half of my life. And all of this for what? because the fear of people being mad at me was bigger?

well, FU*K THAT.

It is okay to cancel, when you don’t feel like going. If someone has done you wrong, tell them that you got hurt by their actions. How the other person takes it, is not your responsibility. It is okay or should i say crucial to take care of yourself and your mental health. To me, that is the key to true happiness. 

my three golden rules:

number one: you are nothing that you think you are.  you are not a bad person if you say no to something that you don’t feel like doing right now. you are not a selfish person for wanting to spend some time on your own.

number twoyou are enough for who you are and nobody should tell you otherwise. i found myself being surrounded by people who would find the negative in every little thing that i decided to do and it was the worst. once i didn’t engage with these same people, i somehow found this new freedom within myself.

number three: you have to let go. you can’t make everyone happy around you and you have to accept that. there is always going to be that one person who has something negative to say, but you have to raise above that. easier said than done, i know.  sometimes it’s not meant to be the way, you imagined it to be. and that’s okay too.


in the past year i feel like i have really found my inner peace. i feel like for the first time in years, i have been able to breathe. to feel and live in the moment. to see myself for who i am deep inside. to acknowledge that my body was perfect the way it is, from the second i took my first breath on this earth. to accept that i can’t compare myself to other people, because nobody will ever be me and i will never be someone else. sure, i have my flaws but the true magic is to never stop working on yourself. be that better version of yourself, than you were the day before.

the only person that needs to accept you for who you are, is YOU. in your world you should always be your own number one. you should never feel like you matter less than anyone else around you. your feelings matter. your decisions matter. and even if people maybe can’t understand your reasoning, be proud and keep your head held high.


at some point in your life 

you are going have to start 

demanding what you deserve 

and be willing to walk away 

if what you require 

can’t be provided. 


4 thoughts on “How I Started Putting Myself First

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  1. It took a couple of more years for me to realize the power of saying no! I would say yes to projects and ideas I did not like or want to do. I found myself not only feeling resentful but also overworked. Since I learned to say no I have been feeling better about my self and others 💓Thank you for sharing!

  2. Putting yourself first it sounds so selfish. Yet in reality it’s not. Why do you put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put your child’s mask on? Answer, you can’t help your baby if you are passed out due to lack of oxygen.

    You have to put yourself before your family or friends if you don’t then your won’t be there b

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